


gunpowder

by fated_addiction



Category: K-pop, Real Person Fiction, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-16 00:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16943655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction
Summary: "my palms are sweaty."or when joy and seulgi are complicated.





	gunpowder

"my palms are sweaty."

joy stops, feet halfway into a ratty pair of slippers, her fingers gripping the cuffs of her sweater sleeves. she can't help the sigh - it's a _sigh_ -sigh, bursting against her mouth, disguised as a cough and a laugh. seulgi, on the other hand, doesn't move.

"i think i'm nervous," she adds.

joy scoffs. "don't be stupid."

"i'm not. i'm _nervous_."

"it's your dry scalp, stupid."

seulgi rolls her eyes, shuffling forward. "you're in the worst mood," she comments. might be pointing out. it's not like joy is sensitive or anything; her temper is notorious and facts are facts. like the sky is goddamn blue.

but she is in a mood. a foul one. they have all been on a group diet, weeks into their comeback, feet sore, three hours of sleep daily, the car smells and she swears, _swears_ that trying to be funny is like going to the dentist. it's stupid and it sucks.

"i don't know why you're nervous." she turns. to humor seulgi. "you'll be fine," she says. "you're always fine."

seulgi shrugs. "can't change myself."

she hears the slight. it's new. the sudden, strange accusation. it's not towards any of the others - that's joy's job, sometimes yeri, and most of the time, seungwan and joohyun are too lost in each other it's disgusting to think of them. mom and dad is appropriate enough.

seulgi and joy? you're complicated, seungwan always says. pats joy's head like she's the youngest. and then moves on. no one wants to deal with joy and seulgi. you're a death wish, no one says.

joy still throws her hands up. "okay, but why are we talking about this?"

"you tell me all the time i don't talk to you enough."

"and you're listening all of the sudden?"

the practice becomes marginally small. suffocatingly so. there faint echoes of music down the hall. someone's practicing, no one cares - okay, she doesn't care. but whatever. it's just that seulgi is looking at her. like really looking at her. eyes large. mouth parted. joy even watches the sharp intake of a breath dawn across her mouth and god _damn_ , her lips seem a little warmer than before. you're tired, she tells herself.

she still shuffles forward. stands toe to toe with seulgi. because she hates this. hates that seulgi is the best at crawling underneath her skin. because she stays there and has never seem to notice before. 

joy pokes her nose. "you're full of it," she mutters.

"no more than you are." seulgi bats her hand away. she's gentle. her fingers catch against the inside of joy's wrist and joy forgets to breathe. "you look really pretty right now," seulgi adds.

the startled laugh just kind of happens. presses into her throat. escapes like a low, heavy rumble that makes her a little dizzy. she's surprised, okay, really surprised. this isn't what they do: joy controls, seulgi ignores. it's what works best for them.

"i hate you," she mutters, and seulgi leans forward, kisses the corner of her mouth like it's something she's ready to mean. you're a liar, she almost says. but then the corner of her mouth becomes _her_ mouth and joy is kissing seulgi because she can't lose this argument.

there are fingers in her hair still. seulgi mutters something about _practicing more_ but joy forgets to care. somewhere between that, her teeth sink into seulgi's bottom lip. there's a grunt. joy loses a slipper and they stumble into a pair of mirrors. it's sloppy. kissing is sloppy. and their mouths miss each other a couple of times, giggling because sleep deprivation will do that to you. does it to _them_. and god, this comeback cycle has barely begun.

and somehow, joy's fingers find their way to seulgi's back, trace the scope of her spine and around to her hips, just where they jut out from under a rising t-shirt and flannel. seulgi is hot, flushed. like always. glittering, burning. too much for joy, who drops back and starts to pant, staring at the other girl with dark eyes.

she feels wild. it's out of place and suddenly, her mind flashes forward to the stage, to seulgi kneeling in front of her, posed and out of reach. it's a reminder. joy hates herself. but that's the truth. there's no beginning to a history. joy feels her fingers clench into fists. her head suddenly throbs. it's time to go home, she tells herself. her mouth still feels hot and dry.

seulgi smirks though. "thanks for that," she says. means it too.

joy is ready for a fight again.

**Author's Note:**

> ~
> 
> it's been awhile! life is busy, busy, busy. so i'm trying to get back at it. hope you all enjoy!


End file.
